You know what's worse . . . ?

Do you know what's more lame than being called out on strikes in slow-pitch softball?

Being a slow-pitch softball UMPIRE.

I mean, I'm not one of those guys who consider the beer-league softball game a level below triple-A ball. It's recreational. It's a chance for fat, old, out-of-shape guys to get out there and pretend to be Nomar (give or take a chicken-leg-strained-groin) for an hour.
I don't take it too seriously. You can't.

But an UMPIRE?
In a blue shirt, gray sans-a-belt slacks, and everything.

Whoa.

And, not to pile on, but do you know what's even more lame than being a slow-pitch softball umpire?

The SCOREKEEPER.
Yep. There's a guy there, scorebook in hand, recording every run, hit, and out.

Gosh, I hope they're paid well.